http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com

Philip Zimbardo prescribes a healthy take on time | Video on TED.com

2009-12-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

Philip Zimbardo prescribes a healthy take on time | Video on TED.com

Mechanic Discovers Inner Picasso, Trading Gears for Gourds

2009-10-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

This mechanic discovered a dream job in the midst of Halloween. He didn't need this Denver Life Coach to do it - just a focus on his inner creative drive. Check out the story here: http://bit.ly/120hZg

Time wastes too fast

2009-10-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

Watching Ken Burns documentary on Thomas Jefferson I was touched by this part of his history:

Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) was one of Thomas Jefferson's favorite popular authors. As his wife lay dying in September 1782, Jefferson and Martha copied these lines from Tristram Shandy.

[written by Martha] Time wastes too fast: every letter / I trace tells me with what rapidity life follows my pen. The days and hours / of it are flying over our heads like clouds of a windy day never to return.../ [and written by Thomas] and every time I kiss thy hand to bid adieu, every absence which / follows it, are preludes to the eternal separation which we are shortly to make!

For the remainder of his life, Jefferson kept this paper with a lock of Martha's hair entwined around it. He kept it in a secret compartment of his nightstand next to his bed for the rest of his life. When it was found after his death it was obvious that the paper had been opened and refolded hundreds of times.

Our Potential

2009-09-29T08:59:00.001-07:00

Much of our potential lies fallow in fear of failure, abandoned after harsh criticism, or neglected while we are preoccupied with trifling diversions.

Those who live a good life do so not because they are more gifted. Rather, they realize the gifts they have despite doubts, detractors, and distractions.

You can do the same by nurturing your unique talents, cultivating loving relationships, and devoting time every day to peaceful reflection.

Derek Truscott, Ph.D.

One of the Best Interview Tools: Your Personal Brand : CollegeRecruiter.com Insights by Candidates Blog

2009-09-18T16:25:00.001-07:00

One of the Best Interview Tools: Your Personal Brand : CollegeRecruiter.com Insights by Candidates Blog

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TED Talk: Positive Psychology By Martin Seligman

2009-08-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

I incorporate the principles of positive psychology into the work I do as a Life Coach in Denver, Colorado. Here is a great lecture on the subject. If you don't have the time for all 23 minutes skip to the last two sections for a good summary of what to "take away" from Dr. Seligman's concepts.

About this talk

Martin Seligman talks about psychology -- as a field of study and as it works one-on-one with each patient and each practitioner. As it moves beyond a focus on disease, what can modern psychology help us to become?

About Martin Seligman

Martin Seligman is the founder of positive psychology, a field of study that examines healthy states, such as happiness, strength of character and optimism. Full bio and more links

Top 7 Psychological Defenses

2009-07-30T19:21:00.001-07:00

In every human being, intrapsychic conflicts are bound to occur, usually because of sexual and aggressive impulses and tension. Usually, (or maybe hopefully), these conflicts are resolved by themselves in a short amount of time; however sometimes this is not the case. Every now and then, our internal conflicts can last for long periods of times, and can potentially cause us great harm. Oftentimes anxiety can wear and tear at us, and should not be underestimated. Fortunately, our body has defense mechanisms to defend us from unpleasant emotions and feelings, such as anxiety. These are 7 of them:

Top 7 Psychological Defense Mechanisms

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8 Ways To Self-Actualize!

2009-07-07T17:09:00.000-07:00

EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE

Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.
Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.
Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.
When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.
Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.
Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.
Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.
Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don't like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is. Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses--and then finding the courage to give them up.

More Info About Maslow Here - http://psikoloji.fisek.com.tr/maslow/self.htm

Cool quotes from a Life Coaching Client...

2009-07-06T20:34:00.001-07:00

One of my clients shared these quotes with me tonight. I thought I would share them:

If it shall please God to add another day to our lives, let us thankfully receive it; but, however, it is our happiest, and securest course so to compose ourselves tonight, that we may have no anxious dependence upon tomorrow.
- Seneca

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.
- Abraham H. Maslow

Getting 'unstuck': Does your life need a coach?

2009-07-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

Small excerpt of an article - click link below to see whole article!

By A. Pawlowski

(CNN) -- "Where do you see yourself in five or 10 years?"

Seeking serenity or direction in your life? The growing number of life coaches want to help.

It's one of those questions many job-seekers dread during an interview, but it can be daunting to answer on a personal level as well. Amid all your responsibilities, activities and projects, it's sometimes hard to see the big picture and easy to become overwhelmed or feel like you're lacking direction.

That's where a life coach can come in.

"If you are frustrated with an aspect of your life, not sure how to stop making the same choices you keep making or just want to have more happiness, peace of mind and passion -- life coaching can do that for you," says Rhonda Britten, founder of the Fearless Living Institute.

Life coaches can specialize in areas like relationships, careers or personal growth. They promise to motivate, offer support when clients need a boost in confidence and help them decide which direction to take. Quiz: Are you off balance? »

FULL ARTICLE HERE

Being a Life Coach Rocks!

2009-06-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

One of my clients has been experiencing some amazing breakthroughs in the last few weeks. She started in a deep depression, but faced that wall of emotion, and her own self-sabotage, and she has now created a vision for her future that honors her life calling.

She is scared but committed. Nervous but still incredibly excited. She knows, and I know, something wonderful is brewing. We are having a lot of fun, planning out the pragmatic end of things - and she is now taking some real-world action steps to make her vision a reality.

In researching her dreams she came across this powerful and moving documentary called Chances: The Women Of Magdalene. This non-profit is my client's prototype for her next big project. I'm incredibly proud of her, and very revved up to see what unfolds. Here is some information from the Thistle Farms, a division of The Magdalene House, that explains what this program is all about:

Magdalene is a two-year residential community founded in Nashville Tennessee in 1997 for women with a history of prostitution and drug addiction. Magdalene was founded not just to help a sub-culture of women, but to help change the culture itself. We stand in solidarity with women who are recovering from sexual abuse, violence, and life on the streets, and who have paid dearly for a culture that buys and sells women like commodities.

At no cost, we offer women a safe, disciplined, and compassionate community for two years, paid for by the gifts we receive from individuals and private grants. Magdalene stands as a witness to the truth that in the end, love is more powerful than all the forces that drive women to the streets.

I'm posting the video that inspired her. If you have any interest in helping people or feel called to create your own ministry or non-profit - I know you will love this movie. You can't watch this without being moved.

Here it is:

Bella & The Elephant: The Animal Odd Couple

2009-06-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

This story re-aired today on CBS Sunday Morning. My family can't get enough of it! I had to share it. From a life coaching perspective - I love Steve Hartman's challenge at the end. Check it out.

In this latest installment of CBS News Assignment America, Steve Hartman visits an animal sanctuary where a dog and an elephant have formed a very lasting, and unusual, friendship.

Denver Life Coach Career Tip: How To Finally Feel Motivated At Work

2009-06-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

Here are some good basic things to remember about making work more meaningful. Good article, from blogger Ali Hale (see her info below) - solid career coaching advice:

Do you find yourself arriving at your desk in the office, feeling anything but enthused about the day to come? Do you end up spending most of the day chatting on Facebook and Twitter, and trying to look busy if the boss walks past? Does your work sometimes seem pointless or futile?

Unless you genuinely feel that you’re in the wrong career, quitting isn’t the answer (and leaving a secure job in current market conditions isn’t a move to take lightheartedly). If your work seems to be lacking something, try looking at your own attitude and actions to rediscover your motivation. Here are some questions to think about...

How To Finally Feel Motivated At Work

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Written on 6/24/2009 by Ali Hale. Ali is a professional writer and blogger, and a part-time postgraduate student of creative writing. If you need a hand with any sort of written project, drop her a line (ali@aliventures.com) or check out her website at Aliventures.

How Twitter Can Make You A Better (and Happier) Person

2009-06-23T10:35:00.001-07:00

How Twitter Can Make You A Better (and Happier) Person

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Denver Life Coach Tip: Find The Parallel Process In Your Life

2009-06-21T18:36:00.001-07:00

Most of my Denver life coaching client's have discovered a parallel process working in their lives. Most new life coaching clients come in with one main issue that is manifesting itself in either their work life or their personal life. After only a few sessions it often becomes obvious that this new "episode" of personal growth is actually occurring in both realms: career & everyday life.

For instance, a frustrating ongoing conflict with a boss or manager, may actually be extremely similar to the conflict you are having with a loved one. Usually, one problem is apparent, the other is unconscious, and operating covertly.

As a life coach, I interpret this kind of "parallel process" as a message from your authentic Self, God, or the Universe, pointing to the new "life lesson" that must be uncovered, understood, and mastered. It's Life's way of gently (or sometimes dramatically) pushing you towards your next opportunity for growth. If this episode of conflict is embraced as a lesson, it can lead to some startling and life-changing breakthroughs.

1. LOOK FOR IT: Just being aware that a parallel process might be going on somewhere in your life is helpful. As with any breakthrough or dramatic change, insight into the problem leads to a new perspective, and then to a new solution.

2. KNOW YOUR PAIN POINTS: Are you aware of what is causing drama in your life right now? What are the pain points that lie at the heart of this conflict? Is there something pushing your buttons? Everyone has one or two key emotional wounds that can be triggered by difficulties in current relationships. Make sure you know yours.

3. REVERSE COURSE DRAMATICALLY: - What would happen if you suddenly reversed the direction you have been going? Are you demanding something change at work or at home? Explore the effect of suddenly "letting go" of that desire and putting your energy somewhere else. Are you striving for a promotion but keep getting blocked? Do you want someone you love to "understand you" and treat you differently? Do a 180° and re-route all of that energy into something that you've been neglecting - like a dream that has gone dormant or a project that stirs up some real passion for you.

Awareness and shifting energy can help you identify the personal development that you need to focus on. Problems in two worlds may have one solution.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, WEBSITE, OR NEWSLETTER? You can free of charge, as long as you notify me by email and include this complete blurb with it: Mark C. Jones, MA, LPC, 'The Life Calling Coach,' publishes the 'Art Of The Soul Newsletter' to his online community at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com. If you are ready to unlock the secrets to your own life calling, eradicate your emotional roadblocks, and renew your passion for life, sign up for a complimentary Life Coaching Session today at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com

Denver Life Coach Tip: Find The Parallel Process In Your Life

2009-06-21T12:41:00.001-07:00

Most of my Denver life coaching client's have discovered a parallel process working in their lives. Most new life coaching clients come in with one main issue that is manifesting itself in either their work life or their personal life. After only a few sessions it often becomes obvious that this new "episode" of personal growth is actually occurring in both realms: career & everyday life.

For instance, a frustrating ongoing conflict with a boss or manager, may actually be extremely similar to the conflict you are having with a loved one. Usually, one problem is apparent, the other is unconscious, and operating covertly.

As a life coach, I interpret this kind of "parallel process" as a message from your authentic Self, God, or the Universe, pointing to the new "life lesson" that must be uncovered, understood, and mastered. It's Life's way of gently (or sometimes dramatically) pushing you towards your next opportunity for growth. If this episode of conflict is embraced as a lesson, it can lead to some startling and life-changing breakthroughs.

1. LOOK FOR IT: Just being aware that a parallel process might be going on somewhere in your life is helpful. As with any breakthrough or dramatic change, insight into the problem leads to a new perspective, and then to a new solution.

2. KNOW YOUR PAIN POINTS: Are you aware of what is causing drama in your life right now? What are the pain points that lie at the heart of this conflict? Is there something pushing your buttons? Everyone has one or two key emotional wounds that can be triggered by difficulties in current relationships. Make sure you know yours.

3. REVERSE COURSE DRAMATICALLY: - What would happen if you suddenly reversed the direction you have been going? Are you demanding something change at work or at home? Explore the effect of suddenly "letting go" of that desire and putting your energy somewhere else. Are you striving for a promotion but keep getting blocked? Do you want someone you love to "understand you" and treat you differently? Do a 180° and re-route all of that energy into something that you've been neglecting - like a dream that has gone dormant or a project that stirs up some real passion for you.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, WEBSITE, OR NEWSLETTER? You can free of charge, as long as you notify me by email and include this complete blurb with it: Mark C. Jones, MA, LPC, 'The Life Calling Coach,' publishes the 'Art Of The Soul Newsletter' to his online community at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com. If you are ready to unlock the secrets to your own life calling, eradicate your emotional roadblocks, and renew your passion for life, sign up for a complimentary Life Coaching Session today at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.co

Life Coaching Read: Silencing the Voice That Says You're a Fraud - By Melinda Beck

2009-06-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

Silencing the Voice That Says You're a Fraud - By MELINDA BECK

A physician starts playing a harsh mental tape in her head every time a new patient calls: What if I make the wrong diagnosis? I'm a terrible doctor. How did I get into medical school?

An executive loses his job and despite 25 productive years, he tells himself: I'm a loser. I can't provide for my family, and I'll never be able to again.

An eminent scholar is offered a top post in the Obama administration and his first reaction is: They must have made a mistake.

If these real-life examples sound familiar, you may have a caustic commentary running in your head, too. Psychologists say many of their patients are plagued by a harsh Inner Critic -- including some extremely successful people who think it's the secret to their success.

By Melinda Beck - READ the article here: http://bit.ly/r3hlD

What Elvis Costello Said About Music....You Should Say About Your Career!

2009-06-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

Today I heard Elvis Costello interviewed on NPR. He repeated a line of advice he gives to his friends who are the parent's of budding musicians. "Make sure they are in it for the music, and not in it for the fame," Costello said.

"Fame can be disappointing," he adds, "but music is rarely disappointing." Listen to the whole interview here: http://bit.ly/m8Ese

These words of wisdom ring true. Anyone who sets out on a new career path should heed Costello's warning. Music or Banking, it doesn't matter. You should tap into a stream of passion that sustains you over a lifetime. That is what gives you the juice to climb up the mountain of success, and that deeper passion is what protects you when you tumble down. Some call it bliss. Passion. Flow. Whatever you want to name it, you'll know it when you have it because it the thing that "rarely disappoints."

Don't give up on stepping into the spotlight, don't shred that million dollar check on your vision board. Instead, let fame, success, and wealth be the result of your hard work, not your chief motivating intention.

More Job Seeking Tactics - Day Three

2009-06-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

Here are some more ideas from my bag of tricks:

4. HIRE A RESUME WRITER

The number one road-block that haunts the job hunters I have coached is the resume. People really have trouble getting a resume written in a timely manner. Psychologically, we feel so much is riding on it. Job hunters sweat every small detail, so much so, that the act of writing the resume becomes a huge energy vacuum. You need it. You have to have it. But procrastination, perfectionism, and plain ole' avoidance have a way of diverting most job hunters from completing even a first draft. Small updates can take weeks of precious time. And endless adjustments distract from more productive tasks.

Eradicate this block before it takes a foothold and outsource this task. Find a great resume writer like Tracy Valdez at WWW.CAREER-MAGIC.COM. Tracy does minor tune-ups to full blown resume development, from the blank page to polished CV.

Here is a rule of thumb if you have delayed writing your resume more than one week. Hire a resume writer today.

In today's job market - you need more than one version, you need specialized wording for almost every job application. Let a pro help you with these tweaks and tricks of the trade. You will be so glad you did.

More Job Seeking Tactics

2009-06-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

To Continue my list, let me start with:

3. GETTING THINGS DONE - Organize yourself and your job search tasks with this method of time management. This is something a lot of job seekers do not take into consideration. Job seeking is a job. It's project management --- personal project management. And you can't make a mess of the project or you will never land that job you really want.

You need a workable system for tracking job postings, responses to jobs, interviews, your schedule, following up on job leads, etc. Getting Things Done by David Allen is my favorite time management system, the one I use and keep refining. No system is perfect or easy to maintain but, GTD (Getting Things Done, as those in the "know" call it, is one of the best thought-out strategies I've worked with. It even has some research to back up its effectiveness. I'm sold on it and you will be to when you give it a shot.

Let me be clear here, no matter what system you use - you should heed my advice about setting up some kind of organization strategy before you even start sending out resumes. Make sure you are switching to a project management mindset if you want to stop spinning your wheels and speed up the results. Make the most of your job search time and efforts. Understand that it does take a lot of concentrated effort to land the better jobs. So come up with a system that works for you, if you can't come up with something, use GTD!

TO BE CONTINUED - MORE TACTICS SOON...

Denver Life Coach - Top Job Seeking Tatics - the first 2 from my list...

2009-06-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

Many of my Denver life coaching clients have been dealing with the ramifications of the economy. Some have been downsized, some laid off, and some are trying to use the turmoil to their advantage and seek a new career path while things are in flux.

Here is the beginning (more later) of my most common job seeking tactics I find myself repeating. Of course some of my clients use only a few of these ideas, but all have been helpful to one person or another.

1. INDEED.COM - Indeed.com is a meta-search engine that scans most, if not all, the other job posting websites. It's an incredibly simple tool, and has one of the best email alert systems I've seen. After searching by job description and location you can narrow your search down with other parameters such as salary and company name. Once you have your perfect search criteria you can set up an "email alert" that will send the new job postings to your inbox. Check your email in the morning and you will have a list of new jobs to pursue stamped with the date and website where they were posted.

2. STRENGTHSFINDER 2.0 - I love this personality profile and I've taken zillions of them. The test and the franchise of books are based on a strengths-based psychology - something that I use in my own coaching work. The idea is that you should zero-in on your innate strengths and foster opportunities and pursue careers in which you can use those strengths - instead of using all your energy on overcoming your weaknesses.

StrengthsFinder 2.0 is great for job hunters for a number of reasons. First, you get a detailed report of your five top strengths and a lot of resources to understand the analysis of your personality. There is great book Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance, that will help you sort out how you can use your strengths in a relevant way in your future job.

There is a second reason I recommend this test to job seekers. If you are writing a resume and need good wording to describe your abilities, skills, and attributes, the strengthsfinder 2.0 profile will do the work for you.

This test has some amazing content that you can incorporate right into your resume.

.
So, take the exact verbiage from your results and sprinkle these great descriptions of your top strengths throughout your resume. It will definitely spice it up and help you overcome the dreaded "I hate bragging about myself" block that most people hit while polishing up their resume.

You have to buy one of the books in the franchise to get an access code to the test. I recommend the small book named, surprise...StrengthFinder 2.0...it has all the basic info you need to understand your results.

Make an appointment with Denver Life Coach - Mark Jones, MA, LPC - http://www.artofthesoul.com

TO BE CONTINUED...MORE TACTICS NEXT TIME...STAY TUNED...

Toliet Paper Entrepreneur

2009-06-08T19:30:00.000-07:00

I just summarized my previous blog post titled Is Hope Good For You? for The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur website/blog project by Mike Michalowicz. He asked to have it in few sentences. Here is what I submitted:

There is a psychological reality that all entrepreneurs should take to heart. The minute you begin to pursue your most meaningful dreams, negative emotions will hit you the hardest. The trick is to anticipate this phenomenon, learn to tolerate the discomfort, and endure. The more hope you start out with, the harder the psychological punch will be. However, the evidence shows success lies on the other side of this negative interference. Keep pushing past failure, and the sting of it will subside, endurance is the key to unlocking your dreams!

Quotes On The Power Of Faith

2009-06-08T17:04:00.001-07:00

"Just as the body cannot exist without blood, so the soul needs the matchless and pure strength of faith." -- Mahatma Gandhi

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself." -- Lucille Ball

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." -- Barbara J. Winter

"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible." -- Richard M. DeVos

How Much Time Do You Spend On "Insecurity Work?"

2009-06-05T13:41:00.001-07:00

How Much Time Do You Spend on “Insecurity Work?”
Scott Belsky of Behance | April 13th, 2009 - 05:29 PM
(36) found this useful.

The entrepreneur, small business owner, and anyone else trying to make a name for him or herself has likely spent repeated amounts of time checking their website’s analytics, their company’s ranking on search engines, their google alerts, their twitter search results, and even things like their bank account balance and sales data. While all of this information is arguably important, none of it requires an hourly review. In fact, much of this information could be revisited every few days or even weekly.

READ THE REST HERE:

How Much Time Do You Spend on “Insecurity Work?”

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Is Hope Good For You?

2009-06-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I visited Reaching Recovery a team of researchers at the Mental Health Center of Denver looking into what "really" helps people overcome psychological issues and get on the road to mental health recovery.

Here is what they say about themselves on their website:

At the Mental Health Center of Denver (MHCD) we believe strongly that recovery is possible because we see it happen every day. The vision of Reaching Recovery is to transform the mental health system from one which helps people stabilize their illness to one which helps people take the next step and achieve a full and meaningful life in spite of their illness.

We began the process – which lasted for several years – with logic modeling and statistical expertise to insure reliability and validity of the data. In the process we obtained valuable input from all stakeholders, including consumers, case managers, managers, and psychiatrists. This helped us sharpen our focus on recovery and long-term success for consumers and led to the conceptual framework of The Four Measures of Recovery that provide a constant feedback loop about consumer’s recovery.

During our conversation, Roy Starks, the director of the program, showed me one surprising result that popped up after combing through mounds of their data. Whenever, someones level of HOPE increased, their level of symptom interference increased as well.

What did that mean?

Basically, when people start believing they can change their life (hope, they have an upsurge in "issues" or "problems".

So if you are someone that has dealt with depression through your life. Then it may work this way:

Increased Hope = Increased Depression

This is similar to something I deal with in my life coaching work. I often say it this way:

You are going to face your hardest challenges when you pursue your most important dreams.

This frustrating truth is one reason so many keep their dreams on the self and never really try and make them become a reality. This paradoxical effect weeds many people out, side-lines them, and can lead to some serious despair.

However, it is also true (and this was supported by the data as well)when people hang in there, find ways to cope with the added pressures, tolerate the increase in symptom interference, get support and encouragement, and understand this process --- dreams can come true, goals can be achieved, and a new level of joy does eventually emerge.

So - expect the heat to turn up when you reach for the stars. And don't give up! You can ride it out if you hang in there and keep hope alive!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, WEBSITE, OR NEWSLETTER? You can free of charge, as long as you notify me by email and include this complete blurb with it: Mark C. Jones, MA, LPC, 'The Life Calling Coach,' publishes the 'Art Of The Soul Newsletter' to his online community at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com. If you are ready to unlock the secrets to your own life calling, turn your pain into purpose, and renew your passion for life, sign up for a complimentary Life Coaching Session today at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com.

Working From Home - Is It For You?

2009-06-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

Today my Twitter post included Inc magazine's top jobs you can do in your pajamas. Sign-up and follow me on Twitter - http://twitter.com/lifecoach_mark and read the article.

Working from home is the holy grail of many people trapped in Cubicle Nation (cool title - ask my associate Melanie Hale all about it). But is it for you? Will you be successful? I can tell you instantly if you send me your answer to these five questions:

1. What is the longest time you have kept a movie rental from Blockbuster or Netflix?
2. What is the first thing you "wish" you did in the morning?
3. Who is your favorite Superhero and why?
4. What was the last gift you bought - and who was it for?
5. What was your favorite childhood cereal and do you still eat it and when?

This questions have been painstakingly correlated to deep psychological theories about work efficiency. Well...not painstakingly...it really took me five minute to write them up. But I know they will predict "work at home" success very well.

Intrigued? Perplexed? Not sure where I'm going with this? Give it a go!

Drop me an email at mark@thelifecallingcoach.com with your answers. I'll let you know your results - and then its just a matter of reading that Inc article and picking a fun new career.

Until next time
- Mark

Courage Quotes

2009-05-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

—Chinese proverb

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

—Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I'll try again tomorrow."

—Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey

You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures.

—Charles Noble

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.

—Brian Tracy

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, "Press on," has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

—Calvin Coolidge

GTD Cheatsheet: The Workflow

2009-05-17T19:40:00.001-07:00

Looking for a new organization system? Check this out!

GTD Cheatsheet: The Workflow

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The Inner Entrepreneur: Are Your Attitudes about Money Sabotaging You?

2009-04-24T15:17:00.000-07:00

Money--the lack of it, the fear of losing it, the dread of not having enough--tops the list of concerns of many people these days. That's because the economy is in bad shape, you may say. But didn't those fears predate today's bad news? And even when the economy is flourishing, we are still a debt-ridden nation.

What's going on?

One of the first steps in unleashing our Inner Entrepreneur involves understanding our deeper attitudes about money. Everyone has a different psychological "blueprint" when it comes to money. We have emotional wounds and inner defense mechanisms that interfere with wealth creation; just like we do in our romantic relationships. These unspoken attitudes wreak havoc on our sense of security. If you don't understand these inner blocks you may continue to self-sabotage your financial progress no matter how hard you try to get ahead.

Here are a few of the more common inner blocks people have:

I Don't Like Money; I Don't Care about Money
This attitude is held by people at all income levels. It can have its origin in religious beliefs, political beliefs or guilt at inherited privilege. Pam is a child of the 60's who says she doesn't really like money. She never allows herself to have what she truly wants and always buys the cheapest version. She's a landscape designer, but regularly under bills her clients. A classic under earner, she sometimes relies on credit cards for basic expenses such as rent.

I'm Clueless about Money
Doug rarely balances his bank statements, doesn't know how much money he has or spends and, as a result, finds himself saddled with late fees and bounced check charges. People like Doug may believe that they're not skilled enough to handle their money or may think that money is uncouth. Doug makes a good income, but his unwillingness to pay attention to it also makes him vulnerable to theft, fraud, debt he can't afford and bankruptcy.

I Don't Have Enough Money
Sarah worries often about money. Although her income is twice that of her friends, she talks to them often about how hard it is to pay the bills. At the root of Sarah's fear may be a belief that she can't take care of herself or that the world is a harsh place with scarce resources. People like Sarah sometimes fear that they will lose everything and end up homeless.

I'll Never Have Enough
Mike also feels that he doesn't have enough money, but rather than feeling that the world is a harsh place for everyone, he believes it is especially hard for him. Other people will do just fine, but he'll always be poor. If you try to encourage him, he'll list the many strikes against him. People like Mike are often under-earners, blind to the opportunities that are available.

There is a way to free yourself of these negative beliefs and get yourself on the road to financial freedom. The process works like this:

Uncover your inner money script.
Money is a constant character in your life story whether you like it or not. But what has been its role? Has money been a central star in the movie of your life or a minor character? A hero or a villain? A savior or a source of destruction. Start with understanding how you've been influenced by finances from an early age.

Re-write your money script with a new future in mind.
So there is the reality of what has taken place in your journey towards wealth so far, but what is the outcome you are ultimately looking for? What is the happy ending you long for? How would you like to balance financial security with the risk of investing in your future? Your inner entrepreneur has a plan brewing. What is it? Think, reflect, dream, or meditate of what could be. Journal and get these thoughts on paper. Find someone to help you uncover that new story and start the re-writes.

Live out the plan.
Once you have the threads of new story. You need to memorize the script. We open to new direction. Take some of your new vision about wealth, and distill it done to slightly unachievable goals. Whittle those goals down a bit more till you have some action items that you can implement now. This is when you need real workable strategy. You may need the help of a coach. You may need to do more research. But once that is done - start taking action to implement the new script.

If any of these negative attitudes seem to overwhelming to conquer by yourself, you may want to schedule a free session with one of the coaches on our staff. Let us help you uncover the roots of these unwanted beliefs and find a way to free yourself from them. As you bring awareness to self-limiting beliefs and adopt a more empowering stance, you expand into a larger sense of personal freedom. Also, healing our personal relationship with money helps build a solid foundation for weathering economic storms.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, WEBSITE, OR NEWSLETTER? You can free of charge, as long as you notify me by email and include this complete blurb with it: Mark C. Jones, MA, LPC, 'The Life Calling Coach,' publishes the 'Art Of The Soul Newsletter' to his online community at artofthesoul.com. If you are ready to unlock the secrets to your own life calling, turn your pain into purpose, and renew your passion for life, sign up for a complimentary Life Coaching Session today at http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com.

Never Give Up!

2009-04-06T06:19:00.001-07:00

"Never, never, never give up!" -Winston Churchill

"Never Quit. Don't ever, ever quit. Recognize that stopping now, regrouping to try a new approach isn't quitting. If you quit you'll regret it forever." -Rudy Ruettiger

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."
-Samuel Johnson

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go." -William Feather

"Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries."
-James A. Michener

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -Dale Carnegie

"A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't."
-Jack Dempsey

"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."
-Vince Lombardi

"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity." -Louis Pasteur

"If you are going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
-Thomas Jefferson

"I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right." -Albert Einstein

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."
-Unknown

Change & Meaning

2008-10-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
Carl Jung

We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
Carl Jung

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
Carl Jung, "Memories, Dreams, Reflections", 1962

The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
Carl Jung, "Modern Man in Search of a Soul"

Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
Carl Jung, "On the Psychology of the Unconsciousness", 1917

ADD-Killer: Great New Organization Tool!

2008-10-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Check this out...

Pageonce, the First Personal Internet Assistant, allows you to access, view and manage your personal online accounts in a single secure webpage.

Choose exactly which accounts you want to add to your page and say goodbye to the frustration of trying to keep track of countless websites, usernames, passwords, bill due dates, expiration dates, alerts and notifications.

Also, Pageonce recently started a campaign to plant 100,000 trees. More than 100 million trees are destroyed each year in the production of junk mail. You can help the environment while you manage your life online. If you join, not only will you save paper, but Pageonce will plant a tree on your behalf.

To learn more about Pageonce before signing up, visit: http://www.pageonce.com
To register and make sure your tree gets planted,
visit: http://www.pageonce.com

Team Hoyt - Truly Inspirational Story - You Can!

2008-08-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

I'm posting this on my blog today, mainly for myself! A client of mine sent it over to me and it was just so inspiring and motivational - I want to save it here, and share it with whoever is interested. I have two versions...

THE TODAY SHOW'S STORY
This tells the story about them in greater detail.

A CHRISTIAN MUSIC VIDEO VERSION
This is simply a video of them racing together with a Christian music background. Shows more about what they go through during a race.

Both videos are powerful! Check it out.

Mark

PS - thanks Michelle

Live Right In Your Hope!

2008-07-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

"The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof."

Barbara Kingsolver

Talent Is Cheaper Than Table Salt!

2008-06-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

"The only competition you will ever have is the competition between your disciplined and undisciplined mind."
-- James A. Ray

"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it."
-- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."
-- Stephen King

"When the morning's freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles give under the strain, the climb seems endless, and suddenly nothing will go quite as you wish-it is then that you must not hesitate."
-- Dag Hammarskjold

The Blossom Of Courage

2008-06-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.

-Alice Mackenzie Swaim

Adversity - What Will You Do About It ?

2008-06-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

There is no education like adversity.
- Benjamin Disraeli

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
- John Churton Collins

Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead
to new beginnings.
- Ralph Blum

It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly.
- Isaac Asimov

Good fortune and bad are equally necessary to man, to fit him to meet the contingencies of this life.
- French Proverb

It is interesting to notice how some minds seem almost to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage, and working their solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles.
- Washington Irving

The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration.
- Confucius

All misfortune is but a stepping stone to fortune.
- Henry David Thoreau

Fractures well cured make us more strong.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Adversity is wont to reveal genius, prosperity to hide it.
- Horace

Misfortunes often sharpen the genius.
- Ovid

The rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken.
- Henry W. Longfellow

Success in the affairs of life often serves to hide one's abilities, whereas adversity frequently gives one an opportunity to discover them.
- Horace

Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A gentleman can withstand hardships; it is only the small man who, when submitted to them, is swept off his feet.
- Confucius

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.
- Washington Irving

Inspiration From Robert F. Kennedy

2008-06-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live.

- Robert F Kennedy

Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

- Robert F Kennedy

Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change.

- Robert F Kennedy

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.

- Robert F Kennedy

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

- Robert F Kennedy

Our future may lie beyond our vision, but it is not completely beyond our control. It is the shaping impulse of America that neither fate nor nature nor the irresistible tides of history, but the work of our own hands, matched to reason and principle, that will determine our destiny. There is pride in that, even arrogance, but there is also experience and truth. In any event, it is the only way we can live.

- Robert F Kennedy

Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"

- Robert F Kennedy

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Never Give In!

2008-05-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

"Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never. Never…in anything great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." -- Sir Winston Churchill

"If you don't make a total commitment to whatever you're doing, then start to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking." -- Lou Holtz

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." -- Dale Carnegie

"If your energy is as boundless as your ambition, total commitment may be a way of life you should seriously consider." -- Joyce Brothers

Diamonds are made under pressure!

2008-05-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

"Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory." -- J. Donald Walters

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch—what makes you go beyond the norm." -- Cicely Tyson

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." -- Peter Marshal

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." -- Margaret Thatcher

The Right Direction!

2008-05-19T06:54:00.001-07:00

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

-Yogi Berra

Unveiled Heroes

2008-05-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes. Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or we grow weak, and at last some crisis shows us what we have become.

-Bishop Westcott

Marriage: The Aphrodisiac For The Mature

2008-05-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

Marriage is: an aphrodisiac for the mature; a great yoga; a discipline of incarnate love; a task that stretches a man and a woman to the fullest; a drama in which a man and woman must gradually divest themselves of their archetypes and stereotypes and come to love each other as perfectly flawed individuals. The health, vitality, and happiness of the family is the yardstick by which a man, a woman, a society should measure success and failure...For better and for worse, the family is the first line of defense against dehumanization and misplaced loyalty.

- Sam Keen

Men: Enter Into A Deeper Relationship With Yourself

2008-04-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

The crisis in a man's life comes when he is separated, or suddenly perceives himself as separated, from the encompassing but limiting perspective of the normal world of adulthood. Then, he must enter into a deeper relationship with himself, become an authority in the nuances of his own experience, define manhood for himself...In the Grail legend, the classical tale of male heroism, we are told that when the Knights of the Round Table set out on their quest, each one entered the forest at the place it was darkest and forged a path where none had been before. The inner, psychological meaning of this myth is that full manhood is to be found only when we commit ourselves to a life of questioning.

- Sam Keen

It Is Up To You!

2008-04-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

"A positive attitude is perhaps more important at home than anywhere else. As spouses and parents, one of our most vital roles is to help those we love feel good about themselves." -- Keith Harrell

"We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions." -- Stephen Covey

"…look at that word blame. It's just a coincidence that the last two letters spell the word me. But that coincidence is worth thinking about. Other people or unfortunate circumstances may have caused you to feel pain, but only you control whether you allow that pain to go on. If you want those feelings to go away, you have to say: 'It's up to me.'" -- Arthur Freeman

"Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It's up to you to choose which you will be." -- Harvey Mackay

Adventure: A Supreme Joy

2008-04-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

"Are there not... Two points in the adventure of the diver: One -- when a beggar, he prepares to plunge? Two -- when a prince, he rises with his pearl? I plunge!" -- Robert Browning

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world. An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered." -- G.K. Chesterton

"Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline in which everybody is constantly graded for performance." -- Milton R. Saperstein

"It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative action, that man finds his supreme joys." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Do More Than Your Duty

2008-04-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

"Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory." -- General George S. Patton

"Winners are people with a definite purpose in life." -- Denis Waitley

"It seems to me that it's actually harder to invent excuses than it is to be successful." -- Jeffrey Gitomer

"Don’t be content with doing only your duty. Do more than your duty. It’s the horse that finishes a neck ahead that wins the race." -- Andrew Carnegie

Years Of Real Life

2008-02-08T07:13:00.000-08:00

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

-Abraham Lincoln

Got Anxiety, Stress, or Worry?

2008-02-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

I've been raving about the following program. It teaches so much of what I teach clients in my office, but does it in a very easy to learn, do-it-yourself style that anyone can follow. And the price for it is incredible! I don't know how they stay in business selling this program for such a discount, so it's incredibly reasonable. If you have anxiety, obsessive worry or fear, social anixety, or even panic attacks, you need this program.

Check it out...

The Panic Away Program!

DISSOLVING FEAR

2008-01-30T13:22:00.000-08:00

"What we think of as people's guilt is their fear. All negativity derives from fear. When someone is angry, they are afraid. When someone is rude, they are afraid. When someone is manipulative, they are afraid. When someone is cruel, they are afraid. There is no fear that love does not dissolve. There is no negativity that forgiveness does not transform."

— Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Peace Of Mind

2008-01-28T09:04:00.001-08:00

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.

-Anonymous

Procrastination

2008-01-23T09:29:00.001-08:00

"Some people procrastinate so much that all they can do is run around like firefighters all day -- putting out fires that should not have gotten started in the first place." -- Nido Qubein

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." -- Don Marquis

"A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault." -- Cardinal Newman

Real Worries

2008-01-16T07:48:00.000-08:00

It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done over the squalls.

-Unknown

How Life Is Measured!

2008-01-09T08:23:00.001-08:00

Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

-Unknown

The Object Of The New Year

2008-01-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

“The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul”

G. K. Chesterton

THE HAPPY MAN

2007-09-18T07:22:00.001-07:00

If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator.

W. Beran Wolfe

THE PRICE OF WORRY

2007-07-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

Worrying about something that may never happen is like paying interest on money you may never borrow.

-Unknown

PASSIONATE SEX - A great article about one of the best marriage books out there!

2007-06-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

Passionate Marriage

Experts explain what it takes to keep good sex, passion, and intimacy in your relationship.

By Susan Seliger
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MD

Don’t believe the jokes you’ve heard about passionate marriage: "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late." Or “The longest sentence you can form with two words: ‘I do.’" Max Kaufman and H.L. Mencken, while always funny, missed the mark on marriage -- at least as far as sex and passion are concerned.

Sex researchers have found that passionate marriage is alive and well; in fact, marriage is where the best and most satisfying sex is happening in America. Married couples have more sex, more varied sex (including oral sex) -- and more emotionally and physically satisfying sex -- than singles. When sex works well, it can add a great deal to how happy couples feel about their lives -- as much as a 15% to 20% increase in satisfaction, according to Edward Laumann, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, and lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, a compendium of the most comprehensive survey data on sexual practices in the United States.

When passionate marriage works well, it works very, very well. However, when it doesn’t work well, it’s awful. “When sex works badly, it can take away 50% to 70% of marital satisfaction,” says Laumann.

Don’t Settle for Less Than a Passionate Marriage

Yes, there is a lot at stake in trying to create or sustain a passionate marriage. But it doesn’t mean your marriage is in trouble if you are feeling less passionate or if sex is less exciting than when you first met each other. That is inevitable -- infatuation fades and “sexual boredom is a given in marriage,” says David Schnarch, director of the Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colo., and author of Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally-Committed Relationships. “Normal sex is doing the leftovers -- whatever is left over when he says he’s not comfortable doing that, and she says she isn’t comfortable doing the other,” Schnarch explains.

But you don’t have to settle for less than a passionate marriage. With careful attention and a little creativity, you can keep the home fires burning.

How to Reconcile Sex and Passion With Domesticity

“It is the dilemma of modern relationships: reconciling security and adventure -- eroticism and domesticity -- in the same place,” says Esther Perel, a couples and family therapist in New York City, and author of Mating In Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. We live decades longer than we did a century ago, long past the reproductive stage of life. And we expect to have sex and passion, both for pleasure and connection -- not just reproduction -- for the rest of our lives, too.

“Expectations are over the top. We want security and financial support, and the best friend and trusted confidant -- and a passionate lover -- all in one,” Perel has observed through decades of marital counseling. So is passionate marriage impossible? “Yes, as a sustained thing. Passion ebbs and flows,” Perel says.

People have the mistaken idea that if there is “sexual chemistry” then good sex doesn’t take work, says Schnarch. That’s simply wrong. The chemicals don’t make for good sex -- nor do they get “used up,” Schnarch insists. To keep passion flowing rather than ebbing away in a relationship takes work -- on yourself as an individual and work together as a couple. And the best time to start is before the flames are out.

12 Tips for Maintaining a Passionate Marriage

1. Forget the “fusion fantasy” to create a passionate marriage.

“The fusion fantasy, or what is known as the idea that ‘two shall become one’ is lauded as the zenith of emotional bonding -- but it is the cause of lack of intimacy and passion,” says Schnarch. “We go into marriage looking for someone to complete us, and that creates all the problems,” he adds.

Instead, you have to be willing to grow as an independent, mature person -- what Schnarch terms a “differentiated person” -- to have a passionate marriage ... or even to have a healthy and happy relationship as a couple. “You are more capable of an intensely intimate sexual relationship as you mature and become more differentiated,” Schnarch says.

2. Pursue your separate interests to sustain a passionate marriage.

Instead of jumping into activities together to create or revitalize a passionate marriage, it may be best to start with the personal passions that made you interesting and attractive to your partner in the first place. Take a class, play an instrument, go out with your buddies to a museum -- and bring back to the marriage a fresh sense of excitement and passion.

“It is sometimes too much closeness that stifles desire, not distance between you,” says Perel, “Fire needs air. Desire is about wanting -- and love is about having. Desire needs a synapse to cross … Thus separateness is a precondition for connection: this is the essential paradox of intimacy and sex.”

3. Novelty is the key to a passionate marriage.

“Desire is numbed by repetition; eroticism thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected,” says Perel. Next time you go to a dinner party with your partner, try to look across the table at your partner as if he or she were a stranger -- you may not know him or her as well as you think you do. “We try to turn our partner into someone who won’t surprise us,” Perel says, explaining that it makes us feel safe and secure to know we won’t be caught by surprise. But the problem is, that leads to boredom, the enemy of the passionate marriage. Instead, break out of your comfort zone and try something new, or a little daring -- then see what your partner does in response.

4. Flirt with your partner to feed a passionate marriage.

Never forget that foreplay begins outside the bedroom. “Teasing and flirting to create anticipation is seductive,” says Perel. “Flirting comes from the French fleuret -- the tip of a sword -- with which you tease about what could be. That is a massive turn on,” says Perel.

You cannot simply turn to your partner and say, “are you in the mood” and expect that to be enough for sex and passion. Good sex begins long before you get into the bedroom, starting with how you treat each other with your clothes on. The way you look at each other as you pass in the hallway, the way you touch each other as you pass the pepper, how often you laugh at the other’s jokes, the small compliments, even saying ‘I’m sorry,’ as you hold hands -- all can build excitement and erotic tension.

5. Make a date for sex -- and build the passion until then.

Every marital therapist on earth (and probably on Mars and Venus, too) advises couples to “Make a date for sex,” and we all just roll our eyes at the banality of the idea. But it really is central to a passionate marriage. So hey, think of it as building anticipation -- extended day-long foreplay. Take pleasure in planning the details; imagine what you’ll do, what underwear you’ll wear (or not). Light candles, wrap a little present, put on your favorite music from your sexy youth, rub each other’s backs. And agree, in advance, to take your time.

6. Fan the fantasies for a passionate marriage.

“The erotic mind is the main thing that allows us to sustain desire over time,” says Perel. Reconnect with your imaginative capacity, with your fantasy life. Read together -- erotic or other literature. Ask each other about your fantasies. They don’t have to take the form of Naughty Nurse and threesomes -- they don’t even have to have a plot, says Perel. Anything you can imagine your partner doing to you that gives you pleasure, from a foot rub to a new sexual position, counts.

7. Focus on the whole body for passionate sex.

Where sexual pleasure is concerned, the shortest distance between two points -- from arousal to orgasm -- is not necessarily a straight line to the genitals. Take it slow, and take detours along the whole body, every contour. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Tease and touch each other everywhere but the genitals for as long as possible. Continue to take your time even when you shift gears into passionate sex.

8. Reconnect to share sex and passion.

“I call this exercise 'heads on pillows,' say Schnarch. That’s all there is to it. You both lie on the bed and gaze into each other’s eyes. For a long time. Five minutes, 10 minutes. At first it may feel like forever. But Schnarch insists this is an excellent way to reconnect in a way that stimulates calmness, peace, intimacy, and ultimately deeper, more passionate sex.

9. Try “eyes-open sex.”

“Seventy percent of couples have sex with their eyes closed,” says Schnarch. “Only 15% open them during orgasm.” What that means, he says, is that “most of us tune out our partner at a time that is supposed to be the most intimate.” Schnarch suggests keeping your eyes open, although he acknowledges that some people find this prospect intimidating and are unable to climax this way. But others “burst into tears because it is so heartwarming,” he says. At the very least, you will feel the thrill of trying something novel. Schnarch believes it will also help couples expand their intimacy and have deeper, more passionate sex.

10. Mix laughter with passion and sex.

Calvin Trilling observes in his latest book, named after his late wife, Alice, that he won her love by being funny. Mickey Rooney once said, "Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?" Passion is not always serious business -- it can be playful. Be willing to laugh at yourself when you try something new, especially when it doesn’t work -- a new position that gives you a cramp or a belly dance that turns out to be more strange than sexy. When you laugh, you give your partner permission to do so. And you create an environment where each of you is free to try anything without fear of ridicule -- a liberating atmosphere where passionate sex can flourish.

Published February 2007.

Study may help develop ADD treatments

2007-06-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

By Lauran Neergaard, AP Medical Writer

WASHINGTON — Spot a bear in the woods, and a different part of your brain will yell "pay attention" than if you were studying bears at the zoo. New research shows it takes one part of the brain to start concentrating and another to be distracted. This discovery could help scientists develop better treatments for attention deficit disorder.

"This ability to willfully focus your attention is physically separate in the brain from distracting things grabbing your attention," said Earl Miller, a neuroscientist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He led the study, published in Friday's edition of the journal Science.

"Now we know these two things are separate, it raises the possibility that we can fix them independently," Miller said.

There are two main ways the brain pays attention: "top down" or willful, goal-oriented attention, such as when you focus to read, and "bottom-up" or reflexive attention to sensory information -- loud noises or bright colors or threatening animals.

Likewise, there are different degrees of attention disorders. Some people have a harder time focusing, while others have a harder time filtering out distractions.

Scientists knew that paying attention involved multiple brain regions but they did not know how, because studies until now have examined one region at a time.

Miller hooked painless electrodes onto monkeys to track how two key areas react together when the brain jumps to attention.

The monkeys were trained to take attention tests on a video screen in return for a treat of apple juice. Sometimes they had to concentrate, picking out, say, only the left-leaning red rectangle from a field of red rectangles; in the same way, the human brain picks a friend's face out of a crowd. Other times bright rectangles -- the attention-grabbers -- flashed off the screen at the monkeys.

When the monkeys voluntarily concentrated, the so-called executive center in the front of the brain -- the prefrontal cortex -- was in charge. But when something distracting grabbed the monkeys' attention, that signal originated in the parietal cortex, toward the back of the brain.

The electrical activity in these two areas began vibrating in synchrony as they signaled each other. But it was at different frequencies, almost like being at different spots on the radio dial.

Sustaining concentration involved lower-frequency neuron activity. Distraction occurred at higher frequencies. So, Miller concluded, scientists one day might find a treatment that essentially turns up or down the volume to boost attention.

The study provides the first good look at how these physically distinct brain regions interact to govern at least part of attention, said Dr. Debra Babcock, a neurologist at the National Institutes of Health.

"Once we understand how attention works, we'll understand how better to treat disorders of attention, and lord knows there are plenty of those," Babcock said. "This could, in the long term, help us devise therapies."

It makes evolutionary sense that these two types of attention would originate in different areas. Reflexive attention is a more primitive survival tool, while concentration is more advanced.

"If something leaps out of the bush at me, that's going to be really important and I have to react to it right away. Your brain is equipped to notice things salient in the environment," Miller said. "It takes a truly intelligent creature to know what's important and focus."

The government-funded work raises some logical next questions. For example, once the parietal lobe recognizes an attention-grabber, how does it evaluate what's important enough to focus on -- and thus signal other brain regions to join in -- and what was just a distraction that can be ignored?

It is the snap judgment that determines if a loud beeping is a fire alarm you should heed or just another car alarm down the street -- or if that bear down the trail is going to be a threat or is already ambling away.

"It's how your brain decides when it can just do a quick ... analysis and decides when it really needs to focus down," Babcock said. "We have a lot more to learn."
Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Do you have Adult ADD - take my free quiz here!

WELL CHOSEN WORDS

2007-05-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

"I can't do it" never yet accomplished anything: "I will try" has accomplished wonders."
-- George P. Burnham

"Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men."
-- Confucius

"Well chosen words mixed with measured emotions are the basis of affecting people."
-- Jim Rohn

"Actions can say more than words, but without words actions can be meaningless."
-- Michael McEwan

TRUE VISION

2007-05-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." -- Audre Lorde

"If you haven't attained clear true vision, this causes you to lapse into extremes, so that you lose contact with reality." -- Zen Master Yuawu

"The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision." -- Helen Keller

"The most elusive and desired quality of leadership is vision. Vision is the perfume of the mind." -- Harriet Rubin

TRUTH & THE TEST OF EXPERIENCE

2007-05-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it's not going to go away." -- Elvis Presley

"If the truth isn't enough, then you must become stronger at presenting it." -- Jim Rohn

"We seem to seek the truth when it in fact seeks you." -- Rick Beneteau

"Truth is what stands the test of experience." -- Albert Einstein

TRUST

2007-05-09T11:55:00.001-07:00

"Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." -– Indira Gandhi

"Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him." -- Booker T. Washington

"One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life." -- E. M. Forster

CREATE YOUR FUTURE

2007-05-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

“Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb. You may never reach the summit; for that you will be forgiven. But if you don’t make at least one serious attempt to get above the snow-line, years later you will find yourself lying on your deathbed, and all you will feel is emptiness.” -- Huch Macleod

"Those who do not create the future they want must endure the future they get." -- Draper L. Kaufman, Jr.

“The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living at doing what they most enjoy.” -- Malcolm S. Forbes

“Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.” -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Former U.S. Supreme Court justice

"A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder." -- Thomas Carlyle

THINKING THAT WORKS

2007-05-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." – J.M Barrie

"Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience." -- Eddie Rickenbacker

"It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting." -- Millard Fuller (founder of Habitat for Humanity)

"Wealth is built...one thought at a time..." -- Doug Firebaugh

If you liked these quotes, check out my Art Of The Soul Newsletter published today - sign-up for it at http://www.artofthesoul.com. Mark - The Life Calling Coach

MOZART'S WAY

2007-05-03T07:49:00.001-07:00

I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.

-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

FOUR FREEDOMS

2007-04-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

Duke Ellington described the four freedoms he tried to live by when he accepted the Presidential Medal Of Freedom from Richard Nixon, as the following:

Freedom from hate, unconditionally.

Freedom from self-pity.

Freedom from fear, of possibly doing something that would help others more than himself.

Freedom from the kind of pride that would make a man feel he is better than his brother.

- Duke Ellington

GET A LIFE

2007-04-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.

-Anna Quindlen

PERFECTLY YOU

2007-04-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.

-St. Francis de Sales

FORGING YOUR DESTINY

2007-04-10T07:18:00.001-07:00

"Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace." -- James Allen

"Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible." -- Robert Schuller

"To grow, you must be willing to let your present and future be totally unlike your past. Your history is not your destiny." -- Alan Cohen

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

2007-04-04T12:46:00.000-07:00

"The relationships we have with the world are largely determined by the relationships we have with ourselves." -- Greg Anderson

"Self–esteem means that no opinion and no judgment are so vitally critical to your own growth and development as that which you hold of yourself." -- Denis Waitley

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success." -- Norman Vincent Peale

"The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!" -- Zig Ziglar

YODA

2007-03-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

Do or do not. There is no try.

-Yoda, 'The Empire Strikes Back'

PRAYER

2007-03-29T07:46:00.001-07:00

Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine.

-Kathleen Norris

FREE HUGS

2007-03-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this video? YouTube.com just put out its first yearly awards...this one won for The Most Inspirational. I was surprised at how moving it was...check it out yourself

Most Inspirational Video Winner 2007 - YouTube.com Awards

REPUTATION

2007-03-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do." -- Henry Ford

BUSCAGLIA

2007-03-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

“It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”

Leo F. Buscaglia
1924-1998

RESULTS

2007-03-05T11:13:00.001-08:00

"The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy."
-- Florence Shinn

"There are some things you don't have to know how it works – only that it works. While some people are studying the roots, others are picking the fruit. It just depends on which end of this you want to get in on."
-- Jim Rohn

"As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do."
-- Andrew Carnegie

"The content of your thoughts and personal beliefs can be proven by a single indicator – your current results."
-- James A. Ray

RESOLVE

2007-03-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

"'Where there is a will there is a way', is an old true saying. He who resolves upon doing a thing, by that very resolution often scales the barriers to it, and secures its achievement. To think we are able, is almost to be so -- to determine upon attainment is frequently attainment itself."
-- Samuel Smiles

"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul."
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind."
-- Leonardo da Vinci

"Disgust and resolve are two of the great emotions that lead to change."
-- Jim Rohn

PROCRASTINATION

2007-02-16T13:16:00.000-08:00

"The greatest thief this world ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large." -- Henry Wheeler Shaw

"You may delay, but time will not." -- Benjamin Franklin

"Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can." -- Mary Frances Berry

"Who dares nothing, need hope for nothing." -- Friedrich von Schiller

LOVE

2007-02-14T11:03:00.000-08:00

"Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life and when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful -- a thought that is love." -- Mary Manin Morrissey

"For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa

"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." -- Jeanne Moreau

MASTERY

2006-12-17T08:46:00.000-08:00

"A professional is a person who can do his best at a time when he doesn't particularly feel like it." -- Alistair Cooke

"If I work on a certain move constantly, then finally, it doesn't seem risky to me. The idea is that the move stays dangerous and it looks dangerous to my foes, but it is not to me. Hard work has made it easy." -- Nadia Comaneci

"We have not wings we cannot soar; but, we have feet to scale and climb, by slow degrees, by more and more, the cloudy summits of our time." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist." -- Louis Nizer

Martha Stewart & Great Expectations

2006-11-26T17:19:00.000-08:00

A life coach named Cynthia McKenna, in Texas, just released an article about dealing with the holidays called Martha Stewart Holiday Settings: Lavish Tables, and Too-High Expectations? She quotes me in the article. If you are dreading the remaining holidays - check it out - it could be worth your time.

Mark

HOPE

2006-11-15T09:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my daugther Hannah! She turned 9 years old yesterday. In honor of her - I thought it would be appropriate to post these cool quotes about hope. Hannah's middle name is Hope - so I'm pretty sure she would think it's a cool idea too!

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope." -- Alexander Dumas

"Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without this comfort, be insupportable." -- Samuel Johnson

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope." -- Martin Luther

"A leader is a dealer in hope." -- Napoleon Bonaparte

The Movement Of Change

2006-09-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

Celebrating My 101st Blog Post!

"Just about everything you do easily now was once difficult to do. From fear to confidence, from difficult to easy; from incompetent to competent - that's a movement we repeat over and over again throughout our lives. It's the process that gives life meaning, that prevents boredom, burnout and depression."

Dan Kennedy

DETERMINATION

2006-09-10T16:32:00.000-07:00

"Wealth is nothing more than a refusal to listen to broke people...and refusal to talk their language…and refusal to end up the refuse of life..." -- Doug Firebaugh

"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent." -- Maryilyn vos Savant

"When someone tells me there is only one way to do things, it always lights a fire under my butt. My instant reaction is, "I'm going to prove you wrong!" -- Picabo Street

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus

DISCIPLINE

2006-09-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

"Your philosophy determines whether you will go for the disciplines or continue the errors." -- Jim Rohn

"Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability." -- Roy L. Smith

"The only competition you will ever have is the competition between your disciplined and undisciplined mind." -- James A. Ray

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." -- Stephen King

DREAM BIG DREAMS

2006-09-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

"Live your best life. Dream big. Live fully." -- Oprah Winfrey

"...when you have a sense of your own identity and a vision of where you want to go in your life, you then have the basis for reaching out to the world and going after your dreams for a better life." -- Stedman Graham

"Live out of your imagination, not your history." -- Stephen Covey

"Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate accomplishments." -- Napoleon Hill

HAVING IT ALL

2006-08-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

"You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

Zig Ziglar

BEYOND UNIQUE

2006-07-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

"For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him he must regard himself as greater than he is."
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Never follow the crowd in what you do; the crowd has never produced anything of lasting quality, value or beauty."
-- Denis Waitley

"You have a calling which exists only for you and which only you can fulfill."
-- Dr. Naomi Stephan

"It is the inside you that is important. Dress up and look good so you attract people who can find out how nice, interesting and valuable you are."
--Patricia Fripp

FIGHTING FEAR

2006-07-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-- Frank Herbert Dune

"Do not give any time to your past, you can't change what happened 5 minutes ago."
-- Jan Ruhe

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
-- Martin Luther

"Fear of failure or success is one and the same. Both are fear of exposure. Not of our strengths, but of our weaknesses."
-- Kevin W. McCarthy

Superman Returns: But I think he may be depressed?

2006-06-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

SPOILER ALERT: This review contains some key plots points you may want to avoid reading.

SUPERMAN RETURNS

I respect any director like Bryan Singer who can captain a 204 Million dollar monster movie like Superman Returns. And, to his credit, Singer's technical mastery of filmmaking shines through in his newest movie. All the ancillary departments get it right, everything from the costume design to the computer animation is superior. Iconic images of the hero, like Superman floating above the earth, are inspired. Unfortunately, the story is flat and the writing is to blame. This summer blockbuster disappoints, in sharp contrast to last year's Batman Begins, and all of those beautiful visuals can't seem to save the man of steel from his own depressive funk.

In this beginning of this film, Superman returns from deep space after five years searching for his home world Krypton. After a long two and a half hours I was left asking...does it even matter that he's back? Most heroic journeys are transformational, deepening the hero's commitment to his life mission, but in this installment of the Superman franchise we don't get to be a part of something that meaningful. Superman Returns drags on like a long boring first act, disjointed and ineffectual. Nothing seems to emotionally phase the man of steel, not even the loss of Lois Lane or the possibility that he now has a son. Even more, the shred of hope he had about finding Kryptonian survivors is dashed and he seems to just take it in stride. Shouldn't his loss be the emotional pivot that deepens his committement to his sacred ideals? Or even more interesting...challenges them?

Watching Superman in action, you hope to see some renewed passion about saving his adopted home world, and the people he loves. But his fight with Lex Luthor plays like another day at the office? Kal-el goes through the motions of saving Earth as if he's picking up his dry cleaning. Superman doesn't seem to care about much anymore, and it makes this movie-goer care even less. That is a huge disappointment after waiting so long for America's iconic super-hero to return to the big screen.

DESTINY

2006-06-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

-William Jennings Bryan

WORK

2006-06-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

-Pablo Picasso

TRUST

2006-06-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

"Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him." -- Booker T. Washington

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." -- Indira Gandhi

"A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." -- Cardinal De Retz

WAYS YOU CAN'T IMAGINE

2006-06-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine.

-Kathleen Norris

MISTAKES

2006-06-02T06:41:00.000-07:00

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.

-Harold J. Smith

THINGS HOPED FOR

2006-06-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.

-Epicurus

STRATEGY

2006-05-28T06:26:00.000-07:00

"The will to win is important, but the will to prepare isvital." -- Joe Paterno

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. -- Lena Horne

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised." -- Denis Waitley

SUCCESS

2006-05-27T18:44:00.000-07:00

"Success is living up to your potential. That's all. Wake up with a smile and go after life & Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it." -- Joe Kapp

"The only thing that sat it's way to success is a hen." -- Sarah Brown

"No man ever achieved worthwhile success who did not, at one time or other, find himself with at least one foot hanging well over the brink of failure." -- Napoleon Hill

"Success can be measured easily... it's the getting there that is rarely measured with most people... nor tracked." -- Doug Firebaugh

http://www.thelifecallingcoach.com

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THINKING THAT WORKS

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PERFECTLY YOU

FORGING YOUR DESTINY

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

YODA